Good Morning God...

Your word is stuck in my head. Thank you for my wonderful blessings: My husband Wes, my children, my home, our health, the healing that we have received and continue to receive, our family and friends, and for the ability and desire to help others. Please open our hearts to follow in the direction you want us to go and to stop the power struggle we all have to be in control. Help me to hear you each time you say, "Let me do it." I hear you Lord.

Finally Seeing Eye to Eye...

Sweet Baby Morgan loves her Daddy. She lets him know that in a few different, adorable, and very special ways. One of which is by gazing in his eyes and seriously studying his face. For a while now she would touch his face almost like a person without sight does when trying to mentally visualize a face. It is so sweet and heartwarming with one little problem...she wouldn't look at me that way. Not up close, no gazing at Momma unless she was eating. I was crushed, she loved him more. How silly you say...probably so, but my feelings none the less. She held him different when he held her. She always seems content and safe in his big strong arms (I should understand this, I feel the same way in his arms). She looked at me and just rooted around to eat...I was there for four things, to feed her, change her, play and sing to her. Yet, when I would try to get her to look me in the eye, she would jerk her head to the left, so I lean to the left and say, "look at Momma," she then jerks her head to the right, again, "look at Momma, right here in front of you." Nada. She was putting her foot down, she is officially a Daddy's girl. My Mom tells me that it is just because she thinks of me as an extension of herself, like her hand foot, always there when she looks for it (except she spent a lot of time looking at and studying those too). Morgan and I have bonded in our own little ways, we talk and talk to each other, my voice soothes her faster than any other, she wants me and not a bottle or pacifier, and I know how to calm her by holding her against me and changing my own breathing and heartbeat. I honestly don't mind her being a Daddy's girl. I mean, what little girl isn't right? Well, I am very happy to share pictures from a moment where she finally gazed into my face and loved on me a little. She has been giving kisses, holding her face to mine, reaching for me, kicking happily when I walk up, holding my face in her hands and smiling as if to say, "Awww Momma, I always loved you too!" We celebrated her turning five months old today by feeding Baby Girl her very first serving of rice cereal. She did great and ate as much as she wore! She did bore of it easily but has so far slept through the night. Yee Haw!

Giddy Up Cowgirl, He We Go...

Morgan had a blast in her horse bouncer today. So far it was the longest she played in it. She is sitting in her car seat now, waking from a nap, blowing raspberries and talking to herself. Like mother like daughter. We are starting cereal tomorrow on her five month birthday. We wanted to wait for Wes so that he could be here for her first feeding but she is no longer sleeping through the night. She woke at 1:00 am, 3:00 am, and 5:15 am last night and that just isn't healthy for any of us. She only eats for a few minutes and falls back to sleep. When I move her away from me she roots around looking for her "pacifier". As cute as it is, I need all the beauty sleep I can get. It is quite funny to see her watch me when I eat. She has seriously studied each bite of my meals lately. She totally gets how it works and is stealing little nibbles when I am eating something soft and gentle enough for her little tummy. She tries to drink from my water bottles and actually stole a sip of her Bubba's icee the other day. He must have taught her to drink from a straw while I was sleeping. Wes can do the first jar of veggies when she is ready.

As for me, I was blessed by a scripture I read this morning. Proverbs 31:10-31. It has been a long time since I read it. Mommaloo saw a website/blog and thought I might enjoy it. I don't think she realized how much it was just what I needed to read right now. I am going to focus for a while in my walk on the principals I borrowed from the web site.

The Seven Principles of the Proverbs 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 Woman...

• Pursues an ongoing, personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
• Loves, honors, and greatly enriches the life of her husband, encouraging and supporting his leadership within his family and his church.
• Nurtures the next generation, shaping and molding the children who will one day define who we are as a community and as a nation.
• Creates a warm and loving environment for family and friends.
• Is a faithful steward of the time and money God has entrusted to her.
• Speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction as she encourages others and develops godly friendships.
• Shares the love of Christ by extending her hands to help the poor and opening her arms to the needy.

You can read more about it by going to http://proverbs31.gospelcom.net/about/aboutP31.php

Bad dream

So last night I didn't sleep much. I had a horrible nightmare! I dreamt that I was pregnant again and Wes decided that I was mean and didn't want to marry me (funny since we are already married). Ha! Apparently my subconscious feels guilty for being so hormonal during my pregnancy with Morgan. Of course when I called Wes and told him about my bad dream, he laughed and asked if I thought I was pregnant and sweetly said he would never ever leave me. Thank God I am married to the real Wes and not the mixed up version of him I dreamt about!


We have started attending a new church here in town. Hunter and I tried it last weekend with B's family and really liked it. The praise and worship is great. This week's sermon was about war, not just war between nations, but between you and those you love. He made some really great points.

Bear's team won their game yesterday. Now they are 4 wins and 2 losses. Next week is the last game of the season. I am not sure how the play offs work, but we are in them. He also had his very first Jr. High dance on Friday. He was stressed about going with out a date. I think my comment was something like, "It is a Jr High dance, not prom, for crying out loud!" I dropped him off alone at the door of the cafeteria and was sad to see my baby boy go. I was also a little nostalgic about my own Jr High dances (and how old I felt). He had a blast and danced with his buddies all night. I am sure he was acting like a fool, but he loved every minute of it and even said he can't wait until the next dance. After the dance he even mustered up the courage to call his now ex girlfriend and ask about all of the rumors he had heard during the week about her reasons for breaking up with him. Turns out she just wasn't ready for a boyfriend. He was so happy that it wasn't anything he did or said, he jumped and said, "YES!" when he hung up. I think it was a huge weight lifted off his shoulders.

Morgan is still inching around trying to crawl. What she does is not exactly a crawl but she gets all over the place. I will walk in the kitchen to get a drink and she disappears under the coffee table. Wasn't ready for that scare! She babbles on and on all day. On Thursday she had her 4 month checkup and shots. Poor baby, she was already a little under the weather and those shots just did her in. Poor me, I have had a fussy baby all week. I realized that I actually look forward to football practice where there are other Mommas ready to take her off my hands and give me a breather. Hunter is such a great helper. I just don't know what I would do with out him. I know he loves her but I also know he does it to help Wes when he can't be there.

I miss Wes so much. He is working so hard to make ends meet and continue to let me stay home. With the cost of gas, day care, and new clothes, me working out of the house is just out of the question right now. We would be paying out more than I could bring in. Besides that, I really want to be home with my babies right now while I can. Thank you God for allowing us this blessing.

Rant for the day...

Okay, I need to rant and then I will feel better and not be ugly to anyone. I read somewhere to remember that once you throw a stone you can't take it back. So here is me just venting...

Why don't I just tattoo a welcome mat on my back. Seriously! I must have issues with just rolling over and getting walked all over. Why is it that I am always getting walked on by those I love the most. Is is because I always come running no matter what, that I am just glutton for punishment? How is it that I can be the friend that listens and listens, but is rarely heard (Not directed at you B), the person that is told, "I don't want to talk about that, enough about your friends/problems/life, your upsetting me with that," but is supposed to sit still and listen when your ranting on and on about whomever has upset you that day and respond at the proper time or you get upset? If I respond at the wrong time you get upset and say I am interrupting. I can't win for loosing. Today, I called someone dear to me to check on her. She was very upset and blue. I try to calling when Morgan is laughing to cheer her up. So here I am working hard to get Morgan to laugh for her and she tells me to hold on so that she can watch TV. Um hello! If your busy when someone calls, let them know in the beginning and ask that they call you later. I have way better things to do than sit and listen to you watch TV!!! You see it is all about balance, give and take, respect. If you don't respect me at least let me walk away with a little dignity. I mean whats not to respect? I am a great Mother and wife (not perfect, still human), but great none the less. I am a good friend who values and holds on to her friendships for a lifetime...not just when it is convenient to me. I am forgiving, funny, smart, and try to bring everyone up and not down. So why why why do I put myself through this? Ideas anyone?

To my dear children, DON'T BE A DOORMAT! Life is too short. Be kind, be loving, and know when it is best to just walk away.

The Elephant in the Room...

I need to address the elephant in my kitchen...my bread maker. I wanted one so badly. When I worked in an office, my friend Charlotte always made homemade bread and brought it in to share. I was in heaven! It was warm, fresh, and delicious. I left that job the during my pregnancy, but Charlotte made sure to give me my Christmas present first...a brand new bread machine! I came straight home and opened it and then realized, much to my dismay, the instructions were long. Who knew!? It was so long that it scared me and I have never used the darn thing. I want to. I really do. I dream of yummy smelling bread drawing my sons attention into the kitchen and my husband telling me how great it is. So today's goal is to make bread in it before Sunday dinner. I will let you know how it goes. Any suggestions?

I have been making glass bead word art. It started as a magnet project that I saw in another blog and became something else. I found square and oval glass beads to go along with the small and large circles. I think I will use them to make frames and such rather than just magnets. Hunter made some for himself tonight. He said I need to buy more masculine paper. He is so darn cute. Very easy to make.

Supplies:

clear glass beads (the clearer the better)

scrap book paper

words (I used stickers and printed meaningful words in small font on computer)

glue that will dry clear

magnets or frames

circle hole punch (I am too cheap and just trimmed around glass bead with scissors)

Cut paper small enough to cover the back of the glass bead. Select words and adhere to paper circle. Glue to back of glass bead. I smeared in a circle to be sure all of paper circle was glued to the bead. Let dry. This can be the boring part. Make a glass of ice tea and relax for a while or check your e-mail. Glue magnet to back of bead or glue bead to frame. Wallah! Easy breezy.

On totally different note. Baby girl is sick. This morning her little eyes were matted shut with gunk worse than before. She looked like a baby mole struggling to open them. It was so sad. She also took way longer naps than normal. Hunter was really worried about her this morning and when he got home from school said, "It really freaked me out!" He truly loves his baby sister. I told him not to worry, I am taking her to the doctor tomorrow. She has also decided that she wants to sleep on her tummy with her rear in the air and her face smashed against anything that could possible suffocate her. It scares me to death. I am like a zombie now because I go in her room over and over all night checking on her. I am very aware that babies have slept on their tummy for hundreds of years and lived. Everywhere I turn I see the signs in the doctors office, literature, my Mommy web sites, books, the news all saying that babies are safer and less likely to die of SIDS if they sleep on their backs. Morgan is stubborn and doesn't care. I go in her room and roll her to her back and before I make it out the door she is rolling over to her tummy and pushing her hiney as high as she can get it.

Hunter's little girlfriend told him she just wants to be friends. He is heartbroken. He really liked her. While it is sad for him I had to laugh when he told me, "she hugged me! The first and only time she hugged me was while she was breaking up with me!" I find it interesting that she broke up with him just days after he came home and confessed that he just doesn't know to talk to girls. He is always so full of himself I was surprised to hear him admit that. I liked her. She wasn't needy, didn't call him, never caused drama, and was sweet with out being a diva. Plus she distracted him from "THE MEAN GIRLS." That is a whole 'nother blog in it's own.

That really sticks in my craw!!!

Hehe! I have always wanted to say that.

To do: Get Groceries, go to park to meet Mom’s, have lunch with Mommaloo.
Did me in: Get Groceries

So this morning I actually make an effort to shower and get dressed as I am excited about my day. I dropped Hunter Bear off at school and headed off to Wal-mart. (Cue the Leave it to Beaver music in the back ground) I arrive and load the cart with Morgan in her carrier, coupons, grocery list, my sling, and my purse (contents overflowing). Now how on earth do I fit all my groceries? I shop carefully, comparing prices and matching coupons to products. Money is tight for everyone right? I hadn’t shopped in three weeks as I wanted to use up what was in the house before it expired. So I pushed my carefully overloaded heaping cart through the store and Morgan wakes and begins to cry. Have no fear Super Mom is here! But wait, what do I see….buggers! (Leave it to Beaver music comes to screeching halt!) Not just in her nose but her eyes are beginning to get a little matted. So I grab my trusty sling and strap her to my hip where she will probably rub her buggers on my cute clean shirt because if I touch her nose now she will scream from this point on. I finish shopping (not really but my cart was too heavy for me to push alone) and look for a short line…it is Wal-mart, they have twenty plus registers, and ONLY FOUR are lit up and all are full of carts loaded to the top similar to mine. For crying out loud, it is Tuesday morning, don’t you people work!? Murphy’s Law or some cruel joke, I get the slowest cashier possible. The cashier was totally immune to Morgan crying while I rocked from one foot to the other and bouncing up and down saying, “its okay, Mommies trying to hurry.” Then I notice wait, where is the bread, where are my tomatoes? She had loaded them in the bottom of the cart…UNDER THE CANS! So while I am moving them to a second cart and trying desperately to sooth Morgan while rescuing my groceries, she begins to tell me how sick she is and how she isn’t feeling very well. OMG!!! She just touched every single thing I bought and probably didn’t even wash her hands either. So I reach for the coupons and realize that half my stack is gone. Couldn’t some of the total strangers who insisted on reaching into my sling to touch my baby (they probably didn’t wash their hands either) have mentioned the Hansel & Gretel trail of coupons I had lost? So I spent $279.00 of my husbands hard earned money, half of which was wasted on squished produce, and ask for assistance in taking my two carts to the truck…I wait, and wait, Morgan cries, and cries, my food is melting and melting, and seven minutes later HE appears. I am looking around for a camera crew because surly I am on candid camera. Bless his heart, HE was mentally handicapped, and I wanted to cry at this point. Why you ask? Partly because I wanted to lean over and give him a hug for being so darn happy and partly because not only did he walk as slow as a toddler, he also had to stop and say hello to every single person he knew that we passed from line to the truck while announcing to me how he knew each of them. Do you have any idea how many people you pass on your way to your vehicle? I do. While loading my groceries in the truck I realize it is ten and my Mom’s group is already at the park reading fabulous books and smiling at their babies. While unloading my truck I realize that I now smell like my son does after a football game. I called my friend and cancelled lunch.
So the question is where do you shop? What is the cheapest and most baby friendly grocery store? What about customer service and product availability?
Thank you God for my many blessings. Thank you God for the patience of those Mommies juggling more than one baby on their hip while they go through what I did? Thank you God for not allowing me the strength to ring the ever loving necks of the people at Wal-Mart. Thank you God that miraculously I didn't say any bad words all morning. Thank you God that I was a big girl and didn't cry when I accidentally deleted this and had to re-type the whole thing...It was funnier the second time around.

Lord, Please help me to be more humble...

I want so much to be a more humble servant. I want to have less desire for possessions and so much more love. I want to give without worrying about what I will get in return. I want to share, smiles, laughter, love, patience, understanding, wisdom, nourishment, and peace. Lord, please touch my heart daily and remind me to be more like the sparrow that does not worry and knows that YOU will ALWAYS provide. Thank you God for all of my many blessings. Let me see them in my heart before I worry about something monetary of this world. Also, thank you God for napping babies and pretty white pumpkins.

I was so tickled with Hunter's prayer this morning. He was thanking God for all of our blessings. He began with, " thank you for Morgan, thank you for bringing Wes into our lives, thank you for his job, thank you for the food and shelter that he gives us...that You give us...that he gives us...Lord thank you for everything." He sat there a little puzzled at his own prayer, not knowing who to thank for the food. Was it God, or Wes for working so hard at the job that God blessed us with. I am sure I grinned and then said, "sometimes it's hard to decide which came first the chicken or the egg huh?" He smiled, gave me my morning kisses, and off he went.

Our Wonderful Weekend and Bear's Suprise

I am out of chronologically out of order, but couldn't get the pictures to load so am combining a few days. We had a great weekend together as a family. Wes and I enjoyed some much needed quiet time alone while Bear was at the movies with his team. On Saturday, I made a big breakfast and we watched the Texas vs. OU game. Well, that's not entirely true. The boys watched the game. Morgan and I napped at the couch. It was really nice. While we were getting ready for the game, there was a knock at the door...Hunter was so shocked to see Papa Bill and Nana that he left them standing there! They came to visit and watch his football game. He was so happy that they were able to see him play. Play he did! They lost, but he played like a winner throughout he whole game. It was a wonderful thing to be watching Hunter play and to look over and see my parents, my husband, and sweet baby there on the side lines. Notice my friends holding Morgan in the background?

Morgan was adorable with her Daddy. He would make growling noises and gobble her nose and she would try to do it back at him afterwards. He later laid his head on a pillow next to her, turned his head and kissed her cheek...she did it to him each time, as if they were taking turns! She had never done that before. Today, she rolled from her back to her tummy and then back over on her back.

Hunter enjoyed practicing football in the rain and mud. His white practice pants are not so white anymore. We are very proud of his grades. We get his report card tomorrow...cross your fingers for him.

Lions and Tigers and Bears, OH MY!

Having fun can really wear you out! The kids were out of school for a holiday today so I thought it would be fun to take Morgan on her first trip to the zoo. I packed up my children and borrowed a few more from Mommaloo and off we went. I make it sound so easy right? HA!!! I had to feed Morgan twice before we ever left the house, Hunter left my keys IN THE DOOR all night...we discovered this after half an hour of frantically searching, and I had to load up half the nursery because I am afraid of getting too far off and needing clean clothes or extra diapers....only because I have learned the hard way on this one. All the preparation was worth while as we had a great time at the zoo. The animals were entertaining as always. There were baby lions playing around the Momma lion with out a care in the world. The penguins while cute, smell horrible. The kids really enjoyed feeding the parakeets.

Here are a few shots that I really liked. I can't help but wonder what this conversation was about...

Laughter really is contagious

Have you ever noticed that no matter how busy or grumpy you are, that the laughter of a child or baby can make everything just melt away. Morgan did that for me today. She giggled and smiled at me all day as if I were the best thing on earth to look at.

Finding Myself, One Day at a Time

I have found the love of my life. I have found my way to having two of the most beautiful children I have ever set my eyes on, and still, I just haven't found myself...yet. I am not complaining though. I am glad each day is an adventure. Although, I am not sure that those around me are so happy about it on my adventurous blue days. I am thankful that there are some really important things about myself that I do know for sure. I know that I love God. I know with all my heart that he created this beautiful place for us to live and share with our friends and families. I know that I love my husband and that he is the man God wanted me to grow old with. I know that it is my job as a Mother to unconditionally love my children. To teach them to love God, the difference between right and wrong, not to lie, to be good people, to be humble, to give everything that is important 110% effort, and how to forgive. As a parent, I am not perfect, none of us are, so forgiveness is especially important in this area. When you are grown and you read this, please forgive me for whatever it is that you are holding against me and remember that I love you with all my heart. There is so much more to all I know about myself, but I am afraid of always rambling on..which is yet another thing I do know about myself. I hope that everyday I take the time to open the box and learn something new about myself, or something new, no matter how scary it is.
Some of the things on my mind I want to learn or do:
1. How to sew...yes Mommaloo, I opened the box. Note to manufactures, these things should come packaged with the tread already attached.
2. Make quite time everyday with God and for myself. Psalm 46:10 BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD
3. How to stop worrying about everyone else and what they think. I am a good person, wife, mother, daughter, and friend. If they don't see that, too bad for them. I have wasted so much time exhausting myself worrying about others opinions and now realize that the only ones that matter all sleep with in these walls. Kids, don't mistake this as an excuse to be rude or hateful. That it is not. Simply put, be true to yourself with no apologies.
4. To clear the clutter in my home and my heart. I need more time, energy, and motivation for the home, and God and my family for the other.

Today I am Thankful for:
You Hunter, for being the best mirror ever
Mom, I love my toenails!
Wes, for loving me when I don't know how to love myself
Mommaloo, for letting me vent and never judging
Morgan, for smiling at me and drifting off to a nap just when I needed it most.

That my parents (both sets) are alive and healthy
God, for all of the above

The garden tub that I will be soaking in tonight...gotta have my quiet time!

I have missed getting new pictures on here the past week so here are a few to catch us up

My Daddy just turned 69, Hunter 12, and Morgan 4 months

Morgan being funny at Hunter's game Saturday

It has been a busy week as usual. It is so funny that all day long I think, "oh, I have to put that in my blog!" and then totally forget. Speaking of, my 4 year old nephew saw me breast feeding Morgan on Thursday at Mom's house. He looked at her under my shirt and said, "Ummm YOUR SHIRT!" I tried to explain that God made babies able to get their milk from their Mommies much the same as cows and horses (he would relate to that right?). So what his response you are wondering right??? Drum roll please...he looked at me and said, "but you have toes!" So apparently in his sweet, innocent little mind, it is not our brains or opposable thumbs that set us apart from other mammals...just the simple fact that we have toes. He is so cute!
More updates...
Hunter's team won their game tonight. They all did great. This is by far my favorite team and group of coaches we have had in this town so far. We have had a few great coaches, but never a whole group of them at once. What a blessing! Even our team parents are great.
Morgan is growing like a little blossom. She isn't shrieking as much but has lowered her pitch when talking (babbling). She has a blast at football practice and games as all of the Mommies pass her around and take turns holding her. While she does great with all the cheering and yelling at the games, I have noticed at home that she is responding more to loud sounds or me yelling at the dog to quit barking and will cry if I am holding her and call for Hunter to come in the room. It is such a sad face she makes with that cute bottom lip sticking out. She is a wiggle worm now and has her arms and legs kicking about all the time. She is also using both hands to touch things and hold her toys. We are getting ready to try rice cereal. Wes wants to be home for her first feeding so I will wait. He is afraid she has forgotten him...there is no way! She is a Daddy's Girl through and through.
As for me, I am totally thrilled with my new list of crafting ideas. If things go well I will eventually open an etsy store and maybe set up booth in one of the local shops. There are so many things I want to learn to do right now. I just don't know where to begin.
Things I am Thankful for Today:
Everyday my husband and beautiful healthy children
my friends, old and new
my family, no matter how nutty I think they are...we all think our families are nutty right?
my brand thing new...my sewing machine (THANK YOU B)
Walmart for being open 24hrs a day!

Tackle it Tueasday Became Way to go Wednesday

Once upon a time I was a Coordinator. I was great! One of the best. I dressed for work, professionally worked with higher up executives, and some sick part of me actually subconsciously enjoyed my annual review where I was told I did a good job. I loved the pace, the challenges, the interaction. I thought I had it all figured out, and we were blessed with Morgan, and my career path changed to one that landed me at home feeling, well, a little less than. Home is completely where my heart desires for me to be. I want to be the best Mommy and wife. I want my home to be welcoming to everyone who comes over to visit, my dinners to taste great, my children and husband to be happy and have a little peaceful comfort knowing that Mom is one the job. Now everyday I try to think of a fun home based business I could start or something I can do to help with our families income (ideas are welcome). So to feel important and needed I have been making to do list everywhere and having a blast scratching off each task. So now I have this innate need to have goals throughout my day. It is almost as if I am playing a game. Goal walk 3 miles-reward shower while baby naps. Goal sort bills-reward is the Diet Soda in the fridge. You get the idea. So far in the past 38hours I have, sorted a stack of old bills, shredded, payed bills, payed more bills,balanced the checkbook three times, gone to the post office, gone to the bank, payed more bills, got groceries, went to the pharmacy, picked up tags for truck, got truck inspected, oil changed, went to football practice, took Hunter to the mall, cooked dinner, done three loads of laundry, put away clutter in living room, added more clutter to living room, done dishes, toted Bear to school, fed, fed, fed baby girl, changed a bunch of diapers, fed some more and now I want to reward myself with a bubble bath (Oh an I cleaned the bathrooms). Unfortunately, it is simply too late so I will go mark sleep off my list and dream for a while...sweet dreams