Happy Trails to the Holidays and on to the New Year...

I know, I know, I haven't blogged in weeks and oh how I have missed it. This is my journal. It is where I vent and think. I need this outlet! However, Wes is finally home for the holiday and I didn't want to miss a single second available with him and the kids. Like most, our Christmas was busy and filled with family. The only way it could have been better would be if we could have all of our family together at once rather than driving all over Texas to see everyone. I know I am living in a dream land and obviously watch too much television because that doesn't happen in real life...does it? Hunter & Morgan, PLEASE MARRY NICE PEOPLE WHO WILL LET YOU SPEND CHRISTMAS WITH US! I will be nice I promise. They can bring their entire families. I will even make your favorite foods and babysit your children on New Years Eve. Did I say please, pretty please, with sugar cookies on top?
A short recap of our holiday...Hunter's team lost their final All Stars game and he headed off to visit his family south of Houston. Morgan and I spent Christmas Eve home getting ready for the big day and on Christmas day morning Wes flew home! We were both so happy to see him. he is always so afraid Morgan will forget him, but I know the that there is no way that could ever happen. She loves her Daddy so much! We drove to my my Dad's and had a great Christmas feast with family there. Morgan went from one family member to another, some of whom she had never met and had a blast soaking up all the attention. I missed Hunter but knew he was having a great Christmas where he was at and was so happy to see him when his flight came in the next day. On Friday afternoon Wes took us to a nice dinner and then we had our family Christmas here at home. It was so fun watching Hunter open his gifts. Wes bought him a special jersey and tickets to both the Armed Forces Bowl and Cotton Bowl which totally surprised Hunter. He was literally speechless. I am not sure who was happier, Hunter for receiving the gift or Wes for making Hunter smile like that. They both just beamed with love and happiness and my heart was so content watching them. While Morgan has a knack for eating the wrapping off of other peoples gifts, she wasn't really sure how to open hers. Hunter helped and she loved her new toys. We woke early Saturday morning and headed to Possum Kingdom Lake to share a weekend with the Lee Family. Momma and Barney rented a great cabin for all of us to stay in with lots of space for the kids to run around and play. We all had a great time seeing family and just enjoying time together. Hunter really enjoyed the smaller nephews looking up to him and starting the beginnings of a bond that I pray last a lifetime. On Sunday we helped pack up and loaded our own truck with lots of goodies and headed to Mom and James. Mom had set up the Guest/Art Cabin for Christmas and it was adorable! We worked in the kitchen together when we arrived and in no time had the most Delicious dinner pulled together. I have to say the food was heavenly! My sister's family was there with us and we all shared a meal, opened presents, and watched the kids play a little while the men snuck off to check on the football games...stinkers. In all, it was simply a wonderful Christmas, not just because of the beautiful gifts we received, but because we were able to spend it with all of our families. We truly feel blessed. What a great way to honor the birth of Jesus, by gathering and loving the families we are blessed with. I had a hard time picking just a few favorites so have a ton of pictures to share. I wish I had more. I missed getting pictures of parts of both mine and Wes's families and his brother Brad is deployed so I won't get any of him until next year. Here are a few until I get a slide show together...

Dishing it out...

Money is tight for everyone right now so we made a few new traditions for this Christmas that hopefully we will carry on for years to come. Rather than exchange gifts with our friends, we will be exchanging ornaments. So far, the friends that normally buy us a gift love the idea! It is far less expensive and I am already looking forward to decorating the tree years from now and saying, "do you remember when the Smith family gave us this, it was the Morgan began to crawl" You get the idea. I am so excited!!! Hunter and Morgan in front of our tree...

Bubba has the magic touch!!!

I was inspired by so many other blogs and the crafty homemade gift ideas that I had a hard time staying focused in one direction. My MIL came to the rescue and came to town with her Cricut in tow so I could make my gifts! Yeee Hawww!!!! It was so cool!!! Not only did she share her toy but she was a HUGE help with Morgan. Hunter loved his Mema taking him to and from school in her cool lil Mini Cooper. I spent (wasted) almost a whole day with a migraine while she was here but she switched into Super Mom gear and kept everyone smiling. We just took it easy that day and spent much needed time just hanging out together at home. I am so glad she was able to come and spend time with us here. We really had a great time and hope that we are able to do this more often. Here are a few pictures of my project...

On list I made at the very beginning on my blogging I had included that I wanted to make candles. My younger Sister has been making them for five plus years and does a wonderful job. For one reason or another she has been unable to teach me the tricks of the trade so I was thrilled with Mommaloo told me she would teach me. Any time women get together to make something for their family is a good time for me. So one evening in November I spent several hours at Mommaloo's home learning how she makes candles. I still need to figure out how to make labels and tweak a few things to make them more "mine," but I am happy with my beginnings. They will make great gifts. Welcome to the humble beginnings of Scent by Grace Candles & Heather Nicole's Handmade Gifts.

My Baby is not a baby anymore....

Oh my! It has been a whole week since I blogged. How am I supposed to write about you and all your cuteness if you keep me so busy I can't finish a sentence??? I have a lot to catch up on...

Hunter had his first "dress up" dance at school last Friday, The Winter Formal, (which wasn't actually very formal at all). He asked two different girls to the dance and one accepted last minute. Hunter wanted to go all out but he was worried about our budget. After he went on line and got an idea of what he wanted, we went shopping and picked out ties and matching shirts, a belt and slacks. He borrowed a pair of Wes's size 13 shoes (doubled his socks and they fit!). Then a fresh haircut and we are good to go right??? WRONG! We are sitting in the salon and he receives a text message and then another, and another, the second girl is now inquiring about his availability, ON THE DAY OF THE DANCE! He said, "Um Mom, I think we have a problem..." We??? I don't get to dance and wear cute clothes. He was honest and worked it out with her. We rushed to basketball practice, had the coach loosely assemble his tie, flew home, he showered (I hope) and when it was all said and done, he looked simply dashing. When I fixed his tie and I almost cried seeing just how grown up he looked. I said, "my Baby is growing up", he replied, "Momma, your Baby isn't a baby any more." He unknowingly broke my heart in two right then and there.

After the dance...

This week was such a busy week! Hunter had his first basketball game Saturday. They won, but it was a VERY close game. This is a sport he hasn't played since he was seven and he is worried he will let his team down. He came home after the game and when he finished his chores, practiced in the driveway for 4 1/2 hours!!! We will see on Saturday how much his hard work pays off. We are proud of him as long as he tries. Since Hunter made the All-Star Football team, we also have football practice twice a week. Whew, five practices and a game on top of Pre-Ap Homework is a big load!! Morgan and I are all over the place running him here and there and trying to get ready for Christmas. It is nice to be out and about. Morgan is improving with her crawling skills and is scooting every where. Let me tell you, she is in dependant and and honery as ever. She is gradually eating more and more baby food. It is so messy! I wear almost as much of it as she does. You have to give her a spoon of her own while you feed her. This week we tried sweet potatoes, pears, applesauce, and squash along with her cereal. Mema helped with feedings and even bought her a highchair for her Christmas present. Morgan watched her put it together and was so excited to get in. She seemed know that it was for her and lit up at the sight of her new chair.

I loved my devotional today...

“Then when the king's edict is proclaimed throughout all his vast realm, all the women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest." Esther 1:20 (NIV)

As I have shared before, I was blessed by Mommaloo forwarding this devotional to me. I love it! I love the words of wisdom. I love that they look to God's word in everything concerning their families. This is the mother and wife my heart desires to be. Wesley if you read this please know that I love you, I respect you, and I honor you. Kids when you read this later, please remember what type of husband and wife God instructs us to be. Family is the most beautiful blessing God granted us here on earth. I love you all so much!!!

http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/

You Put Your Left Foot In You Put your Left Foot Out....

While I was putting Morgan's pajamas on last night she kept pulling out the opposite foot of what I was working on. I would stick her left foot in and try to hurry and get the right one in so she could be zipped up but she was too quick for me. As frustrating as it was, it made me smile at a memory of my Daddy trying to get my sister and I out of the tub. He would say put your leg up here so I can dry it off and I followed his directions, when it was all nice and dry he asked for the other leg...so I promptly put the dry leg back in the water and stuck the other up there to be dried. I clearly remember the bewildered look on his face and how at six years old I thought it was funny and giggled while playing our new game. That was a great moment.

Morgan has decided that sleep is no longer necessary. She will fall asleep while nursing and wake a few minutes after I lay her down in her crib. It doesn't help that my arthritic ankles make snapping noises as I try to sneak out of the room. Used to, I could lay her down still half asleep and she would sleep through the night. Lord, please help Morgan to feel better and get the rest she needs to grow and be healthy. Let your Grace wash over me and give me the patience I need to guide her through this stage....QUICKLY. She is so full of life and is so loved by all of us. Morgan, when you are older and have children of your own, I WILL REMIND YOU WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH. Then I will come over and help you because I believe that is what Mom's do and I love being a Mom.

Family Filled Thanksgiving...

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. We cook great food, you don't have to buy gifts, and people take the time to slow down and simply say, "Thank You". I wish it happened year round. As for our family, we are thankful for our blessings year round.

I pulled out my "original" engagement ring and tried to wear it on my still swollen postpartum fingers. Wes made it for me out of pearl and turquoise colored beads with our initials woven in to the pattern. I still love it even though I have a pretty diamond ring. The thing I love about it the most is that it is a great reminder of who we are as a couple. I fell in love with Wes when he had no money at all, no job, nothing to offer me at all, except his heart, his beautiful heart. There is no material or tangible thing that could ever be better than the way he loves me and our children. I am so thankful for my life as a Mother and a Wife. I am so thankful God finally brought us together and blessed us as he has.

Wes was able to fly home on Thanksgiving and spend the holiday with us. It was so wonderful having the four of us in our home all at the same time. Morgan and I were sick with a bug or touch of food poisoning. Wes did a great job of taking care of us. We spent Thanksgiving day at my Daddy's and Wes's parents came to visit both Saturday and Sunday evenings. We didn't make it to Momma's as we were afraid of getting anyone else sick. We were looking forward to fishing with her. Heck, it's Texas, it may be warm enough to fish at Christmas.

Wes fed Morgan her very first baby food, "Bananas"

We went to watch the Permian vs Allen playoff game at Texas Stadium. I still didn't feel 100% but Wes had never been there and I didn't want him to miss it. Hunter said several times that he really had a good time even if permain lost. That made me happy to see him just enjoying family time. The boys were sweet and watched Maid of Honor with me and we all did lots of laundry. Wes helped Hunter put up the basketball goal so that Hunter can practice. We put up the Christmas tree too! Now we just need to decorate it.

Fixing the branches on the tree

Wes & Bear reassembeling the basketball goal

Nov 26, 2008 Taking a bath before Daddy gets home. First time she sat up on her own!!! Still learning how to crawl and sit...
Playing and sitting on the floor with Daddy... Playing with her hair while she eats...

Over the River and through the Woods....

Well I am still running behind on my updates but I wanted to throw a few in and list some more of the reasons that I am Thankful really quick before Morgan wakes up.

After a long football season we lost our second playoff game. Our team played really hard all season long and could use the time off. Hunter played great as always but needs to work on keeping his head in the game and not letting the refs coach him...or attempt to. The Ref told Hunter he was playing too aggressively and was too rough...It's football, much to my dismay it is supposed to be rough! His hard work payed off as he has been invited to play All Stars. It is an honor for him and a great opportunity to play at a more competitive level. I wanted so badly to be sick of football, but watching Hunter put his whole heart into something right in front of me and the rest of the world was a beautiful thing. It isn't something you physically get to see all the time from your children. He loves it, therefore I love it! He is truly such a funny and challenging kid. Since he is so tall and looks like a young man, people seem to forget that he is still a very insecure little boy who gets his feelings hurt very easily by the people he looks up to. Other peoples words bring him down way faster than I can build his confidence back up. It is really frustrating. Why can't people just see his heart and not him physically when they talk to him? Why do they say things without considering how deeply they will effect him?

On to smaller people...Morgan had her first banana in her cereal on Saturday. She hasn't been eating that much, only a table spoon or so. I though smashing a banana in there would help...basically it just gave me more funny faces to laugh at. I do think she enjoyed eating with me at the table though instead of just watching me shovel my breakfast in. She is really enjoying her bouncy horse. She starts bouncing as soon as you put her in it, unless she is hungry or just wants mommy...then nothing else works (Except Auntie B). She is still trying to crawl. She can get all over the place on her own, but it is still by using her hands like suction cups on the wooden floors. She is a VERY happy baby.

I Am Thankful For:
Wes's job
That Wes will be home this week
Ironed Sheets
AGAIN my children and their smiling faces
Moments with Hunter where he still acts like a child
Bouncy Horses
My time making candles and having girl time with B
My friends
Cameras

So now we are off to my Mom's...I am singing over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother's house we go!

Joystealers...

Are there people in your life who constantly steal your joy? There are in mine. In church we are told to separate ourselves from them. What do we do if we can't? What if we are related or joined in some other way and have no choice? What if they never hear a darn word you say so talking it out doesn't matter? I was trying to sleep but couldn't because I was too angry with SJ. I was laying there praying begging God to take the anger away and give me wisdom for the right words to say. Instead, I was reminded to be thankful. So here I am, making a Thankful List to make me feel better and hopefully sleep a little before Little Miss Thang wakes up bright and early to eat AGAIN.

• I Am Thankful For God's grace and forgiveness
• My wonderfully patient & handsome husband, Wes
• My son, he is the best son I could have ever imagined
• My daughter, she lights up all of our days
• That my parents are alive and my children know them
• Family-the good, the bad, and the ugly
• My home
• The abundance of food that we are blessed with
• Red, our dog & Speedy Fred, our turtle
• The clothes in my closet (even if they are way too small now)
• America
• The men and women that fight for our freedom
• That I am healthy that my children are safe and healthy
• For sunshine
• For quiet moments at 2:30 am when no one is awake but me and I can think clearly again
• My friends old and new
• That gas prices went down
• For the smell of fall
• That I can see and read
• That I am finally getting started on making candles (it only took me what.... 4 years?)
• That I am surrounded by God's "artwork" everyday

When I logged on I found http://southbreezefarm.blogspot.com/2008/10/thankful-month.html and was even more inspired and blessed. Thank you!

A few updates: Hunter broke his finger in a scrimmage and had to have a hard cast put on so that the chipped piece could reattach itself. He was/is still able to play in the playoffs. The Coach has to wrap and pad though. We made it another week in the playoffs and Hunter was chosen to play on an all star football team. He is such a trooper. We are very proud of him.

Wes is still working in Pueblo. We miss him and can't wait until we are all together again. We have no idea where God wants us but we pray about it together as a family daily. We all know we just want to be together as a family as soon as possible.

Miss Morgan is babbling up a storm. She doesn't much care for cereal when I try to feed her. She does better for Wes and Hunter. She must know I have the good stuff. She is still trying to crawl. Her rear is up and rocking and she does get all over the place. She sticks her hands to the wood floor like suction cups and slides to her desired spot (normally under the coffee table). She smiles all the time and melts Hunter's heart. I am constantly saying, "Leave your sister alone and do your homework!" He is so in love with her. Again, my heart is happy and I am so proud.

Clearing the Clutter...

“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 (NLT)

I haven't blogged on a few days and I feel behind. A lot has happened and I have read some great devotionals that have given me great inspiration, but then I let it get all jumbled and didn't have a clear direction in what to write about...So I will make this even longer than usual and write about it all.
I have been saying that I wanted to clear the clutter in my home for a long long long time. I have even thought about opening a business helping others to clear their clutter and get organized. You just feel better when things are in their place and you can find what your actually looking for. I start but never finish. There are too many readily available excuses; Morgan was fussy, I was tired from not sleeping well, I was too busy blogging. You get the idea. I have a clear goal that this MUST be done. I can help others by donating the items that clutter our home, make things from them, and even make some extra money selling others. I am pushing myself to spend at least a half hour a day decluttering something.

Well lets take this one step further. I have been trying to declutter my heart as well for years and have just not been able to finish. I get going on a good healthy path, I think I am doing good and then it creeps in...insecurities caused by others words, painful memories of people in my life who lied to me or who continue to lie about me, let me down, hurt me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. The lingering thoughts invade my day over and over. I figure this is much like the way a drug addicts desire to use creeps in over and over even when they claim to have "recovered". The thoughts are like a cancer, they make me feel ill and invade every area of my life. As a Christian, how can I still be holding on? Isn't it supposed to go away once you forgive the person? I have openly given this to God, why does my heart keep taking it back? Whatever the reason, I am not giving up. If I let the people and painful circumstances in my life hurt me over and over, they win! I am just too stubborn to let that happen. I am not going to let them steal my joy anymore. I am not silly & naive. I know that a smell or something I see can jolt me to a standstill and bring those thoughts to mind, but I don't have to let it effect me. I know that it is Satan, trying to rob me and my family of the peace that God desires for us, and distance me from God.

Not only does this "clutter" distance me from God, but it tries to infect my marriage as well. Wesley has been so wonderful with me. No matter how insecure I get, he is still there, consistent, steady, and strong. He loves me just as I am, on days I am whole and even those that I am broken. God truly blessed me when he brought us together. But Wes can't "fix" what is broken. That is not what love does. He didn't break me, but he loves me in spite of and through my imperfections. That is love. I am loved and I love him.

While praying about this the other day, I asked God to heal me, that I am broken, and needed him to touch my heart. In my mind as I prayed I could see God's love and forgiveness pouring in my heart and filling in the cracks and broken pieces. It was beautiful. It is beautiful.

Some of what inspired me was reading this devotional:

http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2008/11/clean-house-and-clean-heart.html

More to come! I haven't even scratched the surface.

• We had a great weekend with Wes.
• Morgan, two crawls forward and one crawl back
• Hunter and his hamstring

I will be posting family pictures soon. Hunter played a good game after recovering from a pulled hamstring.

Daddy's Coming Home!!!

Daddy will be here this weekend! I have missed him so much and can't wait to see him. He gives the best hugs. He is my best friend and I love it when he is home. Morgan has been saying "A, dadadadada" over and over. Know she doesn't know what she is saying, but I still love it for Wes. She has such a personality and has made me laugh quite a bit lately. I put her on the carpet in her room and she tries to swim. She lays there with her big belly on the floor, arms and legs just a swimming, and looks up frustrated after a while because she hasn't made any progress. I laughed out loud which made her get mad and cry. It was so cute. Speaking of her cry, it has changed. It isn't so high pitch and is a lot more pathetic. It just breaks your heart. Hunter actually got tears when he heard it the first time. He loves his baby sister so much. I have to tell him leave her alone all the time because he wants to play with her when she is already happy and content.

As for me, I went to Wal-Mart yesterday to get groceries and stuff to make yummy meals for Wes. It was a good trip. Morgan hung out in her sling and I stayed under budget. Most of my favorite staples were on sale so I stocked up. Here is a few shots of my almost full pantry now. I laughed when I looked at it and realized that I really stock up on the things that we eat more often. Notice two of each on the carb shelf. Cans I buy four at a time normally. Compulsive? Nah, just prepared.

Looking at this I obviously have favorites. I almost always buy the same things when I go to the store. When you are grown you will remember, but to get you started here is a list of things we always had. I guess there are certain things each person feels that they have to have in the pantry. Here is a list of my favorite things:

• Campbell's (in this order-Cream of Mushroom, Tomato, Cream of Chicken, Chicken and Rice, and Chicken and Noodle of course)
• Stove Top Stuffing
• Del Monte Cut Green Beans, Whole Kernel Corn, Stewed & Diced Tomatoes & Peaches (not the off brands)
• Wal-Mart Brand Mandarin Oranges, Apple Sauce, Maraschino Cherries & Pear Slices
• Dole Pineapple both slices and chunks
• Wolf Chili, no bean
• Starkist Tuna in water not oil
• Chunk White Chicken Wal-mart (most brands will do)
• Velveeta shells and cheese
• Lipton Rice
• Minute Rice or Uncle Ben's Boil in the Bag Rice
• Kraft Mac n Cheese
• Shake and Bake
• Wal-Mart Italian Bread Crumbs
• Bisquick
• Betty Crocker Pineapple Upside Down Cake mix
• French's Onions
• Kraft Dressings-Tomato Basil Vinaigrette, Catalina, Zesty Italian, misc others
• Hidden Vally Ranch dressing and seasoning packetts
• Pepperidge Farm Seasoned Croutons
• Pasta (whole wheat pene, thin spaghetti, egg noodles, elbow noodles, rotini, and then misc others)
• Jiffy Peanut Butter, creamy
• Welch's Grape Jelly
• Lowery's Seasoning Salt
• Sugar
• Pillsbury Flower
• Hellman's Mayo
• Heinz Ketsup
• Frenches Mustard
• Lipton Tea
• Mrs. Baird's White Honey Wheat Bread
• Daisy Sour Cream
• Yoplait Yogurt
• Crisco Sticks
• Anything Pillsbury or Betty Crocker is usually yummy and fattening.
• Also must haves: olive oil, hamburger meat, frozen boneless chicken breast, 2% milk, eggs, butter, tomatoes, cucumbers, and lettuce

I feel like I have forgotten something. I hope this list makes you feel at home one day when you do have a place of your own. You can make most of the recipes we eat on a regular basis from this. Of course, in no time at all you will find new yummy things and have a special list all of your own.

You can call me Flower if you want to....

Our Halloween was Spooktacular! Corney I know, but I couldn't help myself. We spent the evening at a team mates home and neighborhood trick or treating by hayride (although there was no hay so trailer ride?). What a great way to tag along with your kids with out being exhausted! Hunter chose a nostalgic (and inexpensive) ghost costume and Morgan was a flower. As usual, we had a wonderful time with B's family.

Hunter's team played a great game Saturday. They lost, but not for lack of effort. I am so proud of the athlete he is becoming. For so long, it has been easy for him and has just come natural, now he is having to make an effort and learn new things and is making us so proud. His coach called me today and let me know that Hunter is the most complimented and talked about player in all of our league. Can you imagine how proud I am as a parent right now? Good job Hunter Bear!!! Keep giving 110% in all things and you will always feel like a winner. We are all so proud of you. Your a great athlete, student and big brother. We love you so much!!!

Good Morning God...

Your word is stuck in my head. Thank you for my wonderful blessings: My husband Wes, my children, my home, our health, the healing that we have received and continue to receive, our family and friends, and for the ability and desire to help others. Please open our hearts to follow in the direction you want us to go and to stop the power struggle we all have to be in control. Help me to hear you each time you say, "Let me do it." I hear you Lord.

Finally Seeing Eye to Eye...

Sweet Baby Morgan loves her Daddy. She lets him know that in a few different, adorable, and very special ways. One of which is by gazing in his eyes and seriously studying his face. For a while now she would touch his face almost like a person without sight does when trying to mentally visualize a face. It is so sweet and heartwarming with one little problem...she wouldn't look at me that way. Not up close, no gazing at Momma unless she was eating. I was crushed, she loved him more. How silly you say...probably so, but my feelings none the less. She held him different when he held her. She always seems content and safe in his big strong arms (I should understand this, I feel the same way in his arms). She looked at me and just rooted around to eat...I was there for four things, to feed her, change her, play and sing to her. Yet, when I would try to get her to look me in the eye, she would jerk her head to the left, so I lean to the left and say, "look at Momma," she then jerks her head to the right, again, "look at Momma, right here in front of you." Nada. She was putting her foot down, she is officially a Daddy's girl. My Mom tells me that it is just because she thinks of me as an extension of herself, like her hand foot, always there when she looks for it (except she spent a lot of time looking at and studying those too). Morgan and I have bonded in our own little ways, we talk and talk to each other, my voice soothes her faster than any other, she wants me and not a bottle or pacifier, and I know how to calm her by holding her against me and changing my own breathing and heartbeat. I honestly don't mind her being a Daddy's girl. I mean, what little girl isn't right? Well, I am very happy to share pictures from a moment where she finally gazed into my face and loved on me a little. She has been giving kisses, holding her face to mine, reaching for me, kicking happily when I walk up, holding my face in her hands and smiling as if to say, "Awww Momma, I always loved you too!" We celebrated her turning five months old today by feeding Baby Girl her very first serving of rice cereal. She did great and ate as much as she wore! She did bore of it easily but has so far slept through the night. Yee Haw!